On Behalf Of My Friends

The cure for the evils of democracy is more democracy!

 

H. L. Mencken, Notes on Democracy, 1926

 

Dear Mr. President,

 

We apologize for the intrusion on your time, but as we move past the five-month mark of your administration, there are a few questions that need to be answered. As Memorial Day is just around the corner, and given it’s a three-day holiday weekend, we had hoped you’d have some time for answering our questions.

 

Truth be told, these questions are really on behalf of my friends. 

 

Here’s the thing about my friends, Mr. President. Not all of them are here in America. Some of them have relocated to points around the globe. I’m sure they’d really much prefer to be back here in America, but sometimes things happen and you make the choice to leave home for something bigger than yourself.

My friends don’t all look alike. We pretty much run the gamut of colors, but none of that has ever really mattered to any of us.

My friends and I don’t really worship together. We know that some of us call our God by different names, and some don’t even have any type of religious faith, if you can believe that. Again, none of us really care about such things. We’re all close friends, and between real friends, there are no differences, just common threads that bind us. Some of my friends are men, some of them women, and the funny thing is we all respect each other, regardless of anatomy. To be honest, we are really close, so much more than family, but the closest thing we can do to express our closeness it to call each other brother and sister.

We’re kind of strange that way, according to so many folks smarter than my friends and me.

 

I’ll get back to my friends in a moment, but onward to the questions. Trust me, they are not trick, gotcha questions. We’re really just asking for a little clarification.

 

In no particular order of importance,

 

1 – If the XL Pipeline needed to be cancelled for, well, for whatever reason you had, why did you just lift sanctions against Russia and allow Russia to build their pipeline to Germany. That surely can’t be right.

 

2 – How do we pay for all of your spending, now at almost 6 trillion dollars. My friends wanted to leave their children and grandchildren a better, stronger nation. Can they have that if they’re paying off this ever-growing debt?

 

3 – Do you support Chicago mayor Lightfoot’s decision to spurn reporters solely based on the color of their skin? As my friends understood it, the goal has been to judge people by the content of their character and not the color of one’s skin. Did we get that wrong?

 

4 – Speaking on that, do you agree with those, like supporters of the 1619 project and Critical Race Theory, who espouse teaching children that white people are inherently evil and that people of color are inherently victims? Sorry to ask, but that sure sounds crazy to my friends and me.

 

5 – We understand that the vaccines are free, but anyone receiving one must show a government issued I.D. How is it that a required I.D. is permissible for vaccines, but is racist for voting? The political left is unwavering in the stand that I.D.’s are hard to get for some citizens and thus racist. Does your administration agree with that, and if so, doesn’t that mean you’re ok letting Covid kill people solely for want of an I.D.?

 

6 – On Covid, what exactly is your stance on masks? You stated during your campaign that you would follow the science. Science says if you have been vaccinated, the masks can go. Nancy Pelosi is fining vaccinated people for not wearing a mask on the House floor, and you’ve been seen wearing a mask outdoors after announcing it was no longer necessary. It sure is getting confusing.

 

7 – Are we still allies with Israel? A lot of the political left sure seems upset with America being a supporter of Israel.

 

8- You appointed Vice-President Harris to deal with the illegal immigration crisis on the border. It would be helpful if she gave us any information on the plan to deal with this crisis. Maybe a word or two from you on the subject would help.

 

Well, it seems we have a whole lot more questions, but we don’t want to overstay our welcome.

 

One last note, and it is a humble request. If you have the opportunity, could you ask America to take some time in the next 8 days to stop by and say hi to my friends? You don’t have to look too hard. My friends are everywhere. It would mean a lot for them to be remembered. They sure did their part for America. My friends all share the belief in the greatness of America, and cannot understand your comments on America being a racist nation.

 

Just thought I’d ask, Mr. President, on behalf of my friends, some of them pictured here at Arlington National Cemetery.